Dear Friends,
What a year it has been. 2020 has strangely been a year of extremes without the middle. It feels like no days have passed since we went into the lockdown in March and somehow also feels like it has been years since we have been in quarantine. There is no middle. Even as I sit here and reflect on my year, I feel ambivalent about 2020. Frankly, I am still unsure whether I hated or loved it. I hated it, because we could not enjoy each other’s company as much and do the things that we love doing together, like clubbing, annual camping trip, or even just larger gatherings. I loved it, because we still found ways to connect, whether it was through a virtual game night over Zoom calls or small dinner parties that made us feel real fucking old. See? No middle.
But during the year of uncertainties and oxymorons, I learned one lesson that I feel certain and happy about: I am grateful to have each and every one of you as a friend in my life. Hence why I wanted to write this letter to share what else I learned this year that made me happy, so we can all end this confusing year on a definitively happier note.
No Comparisons
My entire life, I found my own social and personal worth in life by comparing myself to other people. My accomplishments only felt greater in comparison to others, the same way they felt like nothing in comparison to others. I learned to celebrate my victories for what they are and it made me much happier.
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
I try my best to hide it, but y’all know that I am an anxious person. I always felt somewhat ashamed about it and found ways to be dismissive of my anxiety by making silly self-deprecating jokes about it. Unfortunately, with 2020 being a rough year for everyone including myself, things got pretty bad to the point where I had to seek therapy again to feel better. Fortunately, I became happier by learning that it’s okay to not be okay.
Real Friends
As juvenile as it sounds, I always struggled with who is my real friend and who isn’t. The two lists often traded names any time someone wronged me or did right by me. Like the time when Francis took a stranger’s side in an argument I was in one day and shoved an angry Uber driver who was marching towards me the very next day. This year, I learned that we are all imperfect. And there will be times when I will ride or die for you and also times when I won’t even show up because I got work the next day, but it makes me happy knowing that we are all real friends.
Conclusion
There is not like a grand conclusion to this letter. I just want YOU that read this all the way through to be happy. And if you didn’t, you are not a real friend and I hope you die. Just kidding. I want all of us to be happy. I truly wish the best for each and every one of you. If you have anything to share back with me, we should connect. Otherwise, here’s to another happy year 🥂.
